


Sky Full of Stars

by typicaltorii



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: (eventually) - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Logan is a physicist, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of Death, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, Patton is Patton, Platonic!CALM, Platonic!LAMP, Prinxiety - Freeform, Roman's a theater geek ofc, Sanders Sides (Video Blogging RPF), Song fic, Stargazing, Virgil is a space dork, i love my bois, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-01 01:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14509197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typicaltorii/pseuds/typicaltorii
Summary: Virgil has loved the stars every since the first time his dad brought him to stargaze when he was young. Now, the stars are nowhere to be found until his roommate decides to bring the stars to him.





	1. such a heavenly view

**Author's Note:**

> I just love stars and these bois okay
> 
> also highkey recommend listening to Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay. link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR73DrKX_bs

Virgil loved the stars.

When he was younger, his father would always take Virgil out to meadow behind his childhood home, laying down his favorite blanket so they could watch the night sky. Virgil would listen quietly, nestled under his dad’s arm as he watched his father trace shapes between the twinkling lights, explaining the constellations and the imaginative stories behind them. He would always remember the sweet smell of the poppies around them, surrounded by the warm summer air as he looked up at the stars in wonder. His father would explain the mysteries of the universe, his low voice accompanied by the chirping of crickets. He never could stay up very late, his father usually having to carry the sleepy child in, but Virgil commemorated every stories to mind, learning them by heart. The stories of monsters and heroes and tragedies etched into his young mind forever.

When his father passed away, Virgil would take their blanket out to the field, retracing the lines his father had shown him for years. The first night he laid there, whispering to himself the stories his dad had told him so many times before, he spotted a new star in the night sky. It was a bright blue light, and Virgil could nearly swear that was the way his dad let him know he was still around, still watching him from up above. From that point, Virgil made sure to find it first.

****

Most kids look forward to college, and Virgil wasn't one of them. He wasn't very good at school, barely passing by in English and Math. The only reason he chose to go to one of the biggest schools of the state was for it’s excellent science program, and Virgil had sworn to be an astronomer, just like his dad. Space was his only true passion, and he could spend hours pouring over astrological maps, studying the different planets that filled the galaxy and the galaxies around it. Something about the world so far away from his own mystified him.

The summer after freshman year, Virgil decided to find an apartment close to campus because, frankly, Virgil had hated the dorms. Too many people in too small of a building, Virgil quickly found out. The only person Virgil had actually liked was his dorm mate, Logan, who was studying to become a particle physicist. The brainy boy kept to himself, but Virgil hadn't minded one bit. Whenever Virgil was in need of a study partner, though, Logan had proven himself quite the friend, helping Virgil out in his Advanced Algebra while Virgil (poorly) explained Creative Writing to the boy. They got along well, both quiet and reserved but incredibly tender towards each other.

When Logan had offered Virgil to come move in with him and few friends from one of his classes, Virgil jumped at the chance.

What Virgil hadn't expected, however, was how much he came to adore Logan’s friends as much as he did Logan.

Patton, a long-time friend of Logan’s, was a ball of unfiltered sunshine, through and through. The minute Virgil had walked through the door of the ground level apartment, suitcase in one hand and a box of valuables in the other, Patton swiftly took the box out of Virgil’s hand and lead him down the hall to his soon-to-be room, talking excitedly about how much fun it would be to have someone new. He made conversation easily as he helped Virgil drag his mattress through the apartment and into his room, and even stayed around to help him unpack. His jokes were downright awful, but Virgil couldn't help but laugh anyway.

Virgil didn't meet Roman until almost the beginning of his sophomore year, and Virgil was glad for that. Spending an entire summer with Patton around helped him adjust to being around constant energy and affection after spending a full year before around the calming presence of Logan. Having such high energy around already, Virgil was so much more easily equipped to handle the human tornado that was Roman. He lived much like a yellow highlighter: bright, bold, and almost a bit tacky.

Virgil joined Patton to help Roman with his room, and although Virgil’s first impression of Roman was a bit lackluster, he quickly realized that though Roman was full of bravado and recklessness, he had a soft side too as he proudly taped polaroids of his hometown to his walls, explained the story behind each picture and who the people smiling back were. It was touching, really, and a deep longing ached in Virgil’s chest as he looked up at a photo of Roman and his dad the day of high school graduation.

****

One of the major downsides of going to a decently sized campus was that the light pollution was absolutely atrocious.

Despite how often Virgil would lay up on the roof of the apartments, he just couldn't see the stars at all. He could point a few of the brighter stars (Sirius, Canopus, Alpha Centauri), but it wasn't like the view back home where he could see hundreds of them, miles outside of their small town where only the wildlife and his family lived. There, he could see all of the glittering lights; here, he was lucky if he saw half a dozen.

After nearly half of hour of gazing and growing colder by the second, Virgil climbed to his feet, making his way to the fire escape and watching as he breath came out in little white puffs. November was impossibly cold this year, and he knew he would need to start being a heavier coat with him if he was going to continue his unsuccessful stargazing. The metal railing of the fire escape nearly froze his hands off as he climbed down the fire escape, descending the stair and then the ladder in a hurry before climbing off and pushing the ladder back up to its rightful position.

As he rounded the corner of the brick apartments, he could see Roman heading up the sidewalk, arms loaded with groceries while Patton chatted away happily, swinging his arms without a care in the world.

Roman spotted Virgil first and smiled brightly as the boy in black approached his roommates, “Virgil! What are you doing out this late? God, you're shivering!”

“I’m fine,” Virgil smiled slightly as he relieved a few of the plastic bags from Roman, rewarded with a thankful smile from the taller man, “I was just up on the roof again.”

“Virgil,” Patton scolded as he looked over his shoulder, midway through unlocking the front door, “I’ve told you about that! It's so dangerous to go up there alone! What if you had fallen off?”

“Patton. The door. Please,” Roman nearly pleaded as he shifted. Apparently, Roman had only given up the lightest of the bags to Virgil.

“Oh,” Patton quickly unlocked the door, holding it open for the men as the nearly ran into the warmth of the apartment, “We’re not done talking about this, though!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Virgil said as he followed Roman into their kitchen, depositing the bag into the counter and rubbing warmth back into his fingers. Roman barely managed to get the bags onto the counter before stretching his fingers, wincing at the small pops they made. Patton came around the entryway soon after, pulling a few cans from one of the bags.

“Do you want help,” Virgil offered, watching as Roman lamely excused himself to ‘go over his lines’. Patton just smiled at Virgil quickly before shaking his head as he reached into another bag and pulled out a package of chicken breasts.

“Nah,” Patton said nonchalantly, “Go warm up. Dinner will be ready soon.”

“Thanks Pat,” Virgil smiled warmly at his friend before grabbing a soda from the fridge and heading down the hall to his room. He passed by Roman’s open door and peeked in to see a notebook propped in up the man’s lap as he stretched over his bed, fairy lights giving the room a soft glow.

“So you actually do study your lines,” Virgil teased, sticking his tongue out as Roman looked up from the notebook. A lighthearted grin spread across the boy’s face.

“Believe it or not, not all my lines are improv,” Roman laughed as he messed with the pen in his hands, his head quirked to the side.

Virgil snickered as he leaned against the doorjamb, “You're right. I don't believe it.”

“Oh shut up,” There was no malice in the boy’s voice as he put the pen between the pages and closed the book, tossing it to the side, “So why were you on the roof anyway?”

Virgil looked at the ground, feeling just a touch of self-consciousness. It was always a little embarrassing to admit that he looked at the stars almost nightly. A lot of people thought it was, well, odd.

After a second, the boy gave a slight smile at Roman as he felt his ears heat up, “Well, I was stargazing.”

“That's really cool,” Roman’s smile was genuine as he scooted to the edge of his bed, leaning his elbows on his knees as he looked up at Virgil.

Virgil felt warmth in his chest as he asked, “Really?”

“Yeah! I like stars! I've never seen them real well before, though,” Roman was enthusiastically gesturing with his hands as he spoke, a habit Virgil always found endearing, “I used to live downtown for basically all of my life, so this is the first time I've seen as many as I have!”

Virgil was astounded by that information. He couldn't imagine thinking that the stars Roman saw now were the best stars he’d ever seen.

“Oh you can barely see the stars here,” Virgil lamented, resting his head off the doorframe as he remember the countless summer nights from his childhood, “When I was younger, my dad used to take me out to the poppy field behind our house so we could stay up and look at the stars. They were beautiful, Roman. So many little lights in such a dark night sky. I've never seen anything like it before.” Virgil’s mood sobered. He missed the stars. “You can't see the stars like that here. Too much light around and all that. It kinda sucks.”

Roman was quiet for a second, before quietly asking, “Tell me about them.”

He quickly scooted down the bed, patting the spot next to him as an invitation. Virgil smiled as he sat next to the boy, telling him about those wonderful nights until the early hours of the morning.

****

Winter break was always a bitter time at Virgil’s house. It had been four years since Virgil’s dad passed away, just a week before Christmas, and it always seemed to seep the warmth out of the holiday season. Virgil and his mom had always made the best of it for Virgil’s younger siblings, keeping up family tradition for the sake of the children. But late nights always felt just a little too lonely, and the only way Virgil knew to remedy the cold ache was to bundle up in his favorite blanket from his childhood and sit in the poppy field behind his old home. Of course, the house itself had new tenants, so Virgil had to sneak onto the property and pray that the people home didn't notice the dark figure sat in the tall poppy stems, brown and brittle from the winter.

Virgil couldn't have more anxious to leave his mom during the end of the break. She had loved his dad for their entire lives, and even though she assured Virgil with a loving hug that she was okay, that his dad would have wanted her to be better for him, she always looked so tired. Virgil always swore he would be back by the next break, but he worried endlessly as he climbed into his old truck and drove down the gravel path towards the main road.

The drive back to campus was only a few hours, and before Virgil had even realized it, he was driving down Main Street, nearly home in what felt like half an hour. He pulled into the apartment complex, parking carefully before jumping out of his truck and grabbing his bags from the bed. He trekked towards the door, stopping short as he saw Roman standing outside the apartment, nearly jumping from foot to foot as he rubbed his arms. He was wearing a t-shirt and sweats and nothing else.

“Roman,” Virgil asked incredulously, feeling chilled watching the boy jump from foot to foot despite the wool cap on his head, “What the hell are you doing out here? You're gonna freeze to death!”

Roman lit up as he spotted Virgil, waving a nearly bare arm at Virgil as he called, “Virgil! Hey!”

“You idiot! Go inside,” Virgil chastised as he approached the freezing man, glaring at him through his bangs.

“I couldn't! I was too nervous. I kept pacing and it was annoying Logan,” Despite his nose and cheeks being bright red, the boy was smiling brightly, bouncing on the balls of his feet, “I’ve got something I want to show you!”

“And you couldn't have waited inside like a normal human being,” Virgil asked, stupefied, as Roman opened the front door and pushing into the apartment. He didn't give Virgil an answered as he disappeared, leaving Virgil to trail behind him in utter confusion.

“Patton baked cookies, by the way. He saved you a few. They're in the container on the counter,” Roman sidetracked as they passed the kitchen, down the hallway, past Roman’s room and...into Virgil’s room.

Virgil looked around his lit up room suspiciously as Roman threw his arms out wide, a proud smile on his face. It didn't look like anything had been moved. His band posters were still on the walls, his desk was still as cluttered as ever, his sheets were still made from before he left.

As Virgil slowly set his suitcase and backpack next to his closet, he gave a deadpan look towards Roman, “Well, this is exciting. It's my room. Exactly the way I left it.”

A mischievous smile crossed Roman’s face as he put his hands on his hips, posture still stupidly proud.

“Lie on the ground.”

“Why,” Virgil asked slowly, but nevertheless climbing to the floor. As he settled on his back, Roman crossed to Virgil’s door, closing it before placing a hand over the light switch.

“Roman, I swear to god, if this is your way of hitting on me, I'm going to kill you.”

Roman chuckled as he shook his head, red blooming on his cheeks as he said, “No, it isn't. Just close your eyes.”

Virgil lightly rested his hands over his eyes, an unsettling feeling coming over him at the vulnerable position he was in. He trusted Roman, sure. But he also trusted his gut feeling, which had been fighting him since he laid down on the ground.

Suddenly, the overhead light cut off and Virgil tensed in reaction. His mind was already racing at the possibilities that could happen, but before his mind could travel any further down the rabbit hole, Roman said softly, “Now open them.”

Virgil uncovered his eyes to see the night sky above him. He was speechless as he saw white, purple, blue and green specks, each speck softly glowing, covering the dark ceiling. It was just like his childhood.

“Do you like it,” Roman asked quietly. Virgil looked over at the man studying the ceiling, a wide smile creasing his eyes as he scanned the makeshift night sky above them, “I tried to make it like how you describe it to me a few weeks ago. I even asked Logan for help, to make it look like the real summer night sky.” The man tore his gaze from his handiwork, giving Virgil a look of warmth that nearly brought Virgil to tears. “I didn't know what to get you for Christmas, so uh. Merry Christmas, I guess.”

Virgil looked back up at the smattering of ‘stars’ stretching to every corner of the ceiling and even trailing down the walls, picking out constellations and planets like reflex. His eyes landed on one bright blue speck, just above Canis Major, and he felt his jaw drop.

Roman followed his line of sight to the blue star and smiled sheepishly down at his feet, “You mentioned it once. About how you saw it for the first time after your dad…” Roman cleared his throat nervously. “I thought it would be cool to include it.”

Virgil’s eyes stung with the tears he was desperately trying to contain. Virgil was touched beyond words at the dedication it must have taken to get the ceiling to look like this, and suddenly a lump grew in Virgil’s throats as he choked out, “This is beautiful, Roman. Thank you...so much.”

Roman crossed the room slowly, sinking to the floor next to Virgil and looking up at the glow-in-the-dark paint that created galaxies above the boys. He politely ignored the few tears that streamed across Virgil’s temples and into his hair.

After a few minutes of silence, Roman said softly, “So, which constellation is your favorite?”

Virgil was more than happy to indulge Roman in the stories that his father had told him, regaling in Roman’s reactions of the stories of tragedy, of mischief, of love and losses, heroes and villains.

Virgil knew as he told the stories in hushed whispers on the soft carpet of the floor that he was the luckiest person in the world.

Because he gave Roman a few good stories, and somehow, Roman gave him the whole night sky.


	2. i think i see you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just love soft!Virgil okay sue me
> 
> song recommended: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR73DrKX_bs (it's the song full the full story so)

The end of Virgil’s sophomore year was stressful, to say the least. The weather was finally good enough for Virgil to sit and look at the few stars he could see, but instead, he was cooped up in his room until all hours of the night, trying desperately to cram as much knowledge into his head as he could before finals wiped him out.

There were some good parts, however. Roman had done an amazing job in their college’s spring play, and Virgil went to see him at every performance. Patton and Logan joined him for closing night, each of them bringing the biggest bouquets they could find at the grocery store. Roman has loved it, loudly proclaiming how much he adored his friends.

Patton had been showcased in the school’s art gallery, painting a beautiful landscape of a beach that was absolutely stunning. Virgil made sure to brag about it anybody willing to listen.

Logan’s thesis paper was met with high marks by his professor and he had become somewhat of a small time celebrity around campus. Many students majoring in physics would stop him to congratulate him on his paper and all of the attention only inflated the reserved boy’s ego.

And Virgil, even though his contributions weren't too big, had finally gotten up the nerve to apply at an internship for NASA for the following year. He hadn't yet heard back from them, but when Patton had heard about it, they had a celebratory dinner, complete with Patton’s Special Chicken and Dumplings. It had been a good night.

Now, as Virgil packed sluggishly, all he could feel was the stress of finals finally seeping out of his system. It was official the start of break, and he couldn't have been more ready for it.

Usually, Virgil would be heading home alone for break, but this time, his roommates were joining him for the weekend trip back. Patton didn't have family in the state, Roman had been asking to come back with Virgil for months, and Logan didn't want to be the only one left in the house. So, unexpectedly, all four of them were going to boarding up in Virgil’s home for a weekend.

“Hey, kiddo,” Patton said as he opened the door to Virgil’s room, popping his head in, “What time should we head out tomorrow?”

Virgil pinched the bridge of his nose as he said, “Well, mom’s preparing a late lunch, so maybe 10am? It's gonna be like a four hour drive.”

“Alrighty,” Patton nodded, his bright mood ever-present, “I’ll make sure the car is packed by 9:30. Make sure to go to bed soon!”

“Thanks Pat,” Virgil smiled lightly as he dropped his hand, watching as Patton returned the smile before closing the door again. As Virgil threw his laptop and charger into his backpack, he collapsed onto his mattress, more than happy to drift off to sleep.

****

“Roman, if you would like to keep your feet, I highly suggest you get them off of my lap. Now,” Logan growled in annoyance, glaring sideways at the other boy currently sprawled out across almost the entirety of the backseat of Patton’s station wagon, typing away at his phone. After a few seconds of no response from Roman, Logan grabbed the ankle of the offending foot, roughly throwing it to the floor board as Roman called out weakly ‘hey!’.

“Boys, behave,” Patton’s tone was stern, but Virgil could see the smile he was trying to hide from his view in the front seat, “We’re nearly there. Can't you guys get along for the next fifteen minutes?”

“No,” Logan sighed in exasperation, attention once again drawn from the book in his lap, “Not with this ape taking over the entirety of the seats.”

“Ape,” Roman paused his typing to be offended, one hand pressed to his hand defensively, “I’ll have you know that I am more than an ape, sir! I am nobility of the highest regards, unlike you simple plebeian.”

“Plebeian,” Logan squawked, a look of indignation crossing his face as he turned his attention towards Roman, “I am a scholar, mind you! I have achieved many academic accomplishments-”

“Guys,” Virgil groaned, taking out his earbud defeatedly as he turned around in the front passenger seat, “No one cares! Shut up!”

“Kiddos, I will turn this car around,” Patton threatened on deaf ears.

Virgil whipped towards Patton, “For the love of god, don't you dare! My driveway is right around the bend, and if I have to spend another four hours in this car, I’m going to go insane.”

“Duly noted,” Patton said calmly, a sheepish look crossing his face. A few minutes of silence passed as Patton turned onto the precarious drive, bumping down the gravel road.

The silence was interrupted as Roman grumbled under his breath, “Logan started it.”

That set off another bout of pointless bickering, and Virgil nearly flung himself from the car the minute Patton put the van into park behind his mom’s gray sedan.

Luckily, Virgil’s mom was already on the front porch, waving as the boys were driving up, and Virgil wrapped the smaller woman tightly in his arms, breathing in the smell of his mom’s lavender shampoo and the permanent scent of fresh sheets that always hung around her. She smelled like home.

“Virgil, honey,” his mom laughed from under his arms, lightly patting his shoulders, “I’ve missed you! Eli and Casey are already home. Come in, come in. Do you need help with your bags?”

“No, mama,” Virgil smiled down at his mom as he shook his head, “We’re big, strong men. We got it covered.”

The light blue eyes held such lovely warmth, and Virgil nearly grabbed his mom in another hug if Patton hadn't beaten him to it.

“Mrs. Sanders! It's such a pleasure to meet you! Virgil says my spaghetti isn't nearly as good as yours,” Patton bubbled as he wrapped his arms around Virgil’s mom, making her blush and laugh lightly, “My name is Patton! You have such a lovely home!”

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Patton,” Virgil’s mom said as Patton released her from his hold, “And you can call me Clara. Food’s on the table if you boys are hungry.”

“Starving, actually,” Roman beamed as he barreled past the gathering on the porch and into the entryway, barely stopping to open the door on his way in. His antics caused a small giggle from Virgil’s mom, and it made something warm spread in his chest to see his mom in such high spirits. He always worried about how his mom was doing when he was away from home.

“Mrs. Sanders,” Logan said formally as he approached the group, releasing his suitcase so he could extend his hand, and giving her a polite smile, “My name is Logan Michaels. It's a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine, really,” The slight Southern drawl was hardly noticeable as Virgil watched his mom take Logan’s hand, “And it’s Clara, honey.”

“Noted. Thank you for allowing us to stay with you for the weekend,” Logan smiled as he picked his suitcase back up. Virgil lead the way into the home, holding the door open for his mother and overhearing the whispered conversation between Patton and Logan (‘How did I do? Not too formal?’ ‘It was perfect, Lo.’)

Virgil followed his mom into the dining room, mouth nearly hitting the ground as he saw Roman already seating with a heaping plate of food before him, laughing loudly with his younger siblings. Roman met his eye and smiled, nearly cheering, “Your siblings think I'm cooler than you!”

“Hey, Eli said that,” Casey smiled her adorable, braces-filled smile over at Virgil, “And that's only because Roman told them he would sneak them into a R-rated movie!”

“Shut up,” Eli nearly shrieked as they turned in their chair to shoot Virgil an apologetic look, “No I didn't! You're cooler! I swear!”

“Oh you bet your butt I am,” Virgil boasted, dropping his bags as he held out his arms, “Come here, you goofs!”

His siblings launched out of their chairs, barreling into Virgil and nearly causing him to fall over under their combined weight. He laughed loudly as he grabbed his younger siblings, happiness brimming over as he hugged them to his chest.

“We missed you,” Eli whined into Virgil’s shoulder, and Virgil belatedly realized how much bigger Eli had grown while he had been away, “You never visit us anymore!”

“What do you mean ‘I never visit’? I'm here now! And I ever brought friends for you to torture while I'm here,” Virgil beamed as he placed a kiss to the top of Casey’s head, making her giggle.

“Yeah,” Roman called from the table, mouth stuffed with food, “Torture us all you want!”

Virgil released his younger siblings, letting them dig into their own plates while Virgil dished up some food for himself. His mom had really gone all out for this visit, taking out the family dinner set and prepared all of Virgil’s favorites. Patton and Logan joined in on the commotion in the dining room, completely at ease around Virgil’s family. It was so satisfying to see his real family interacting so well with his best friends. Even Logan loosened up a bit, indulging Patton in his lame Dad Jokes. It felt so right.

Virgil’s mom served chocolate truffle cake for dinner, absolutely delighting Patton, who sat around in the dining room to talk cooking with Virgil’s mom while the rest of the group retired to the living room.

Virgil watched as Roman put up a valiant battle against Casey in Mortal Combat, losing spectacularly to the self-titled Queen of Killing. Logan had gone back to his book from the car, and Eli disappeared to their room.

A small feeling of comfort settled over Virgil as he watched Roman get his ass handed to him round after round, and Virgil tried to remember the last time he had felt so calm.

****

Virgil helped his mom put the younger children to bed before returning to his old room with his bags. Virgil had begging his mom to have the room in the basement, and he was pretty happy that he had gotten his way. Right off his room was the downstairs den, where there was an excessive amount of sleeping bags and pillows piled up on the floor in preparation for his friends’ visit.

“Your mom is an angel,” Patton gushed as he settled into the pillows, a fluffy purple blanket wrapped around his shoulders, “She’s just so sweet! And she gave me the secret to that spaghetti recipe you like so much! Apparently, it's cumin.”

“Interesting,” Logan hummed from the couch, eyes still glued to his book from the corner of the sectional he was curled up in.

Roman had sprawled out across a couple of sleeping bags, long limbs everywhere as he smiled up at the ceiling, “Your siblings are so cool! Casey is too damn good at video games, I swear. I bet she'd somehow kick my ass at Mario Party.”

“Oh, if you really want to feel completely inferior next to a twelve year old, trying playing Monopoly with her,” Virgil laughed as he threw another armful of pillows over the couch and onto the floor, “Kid is ruthless. Her smile is so sweet as you land on her triple-hotel Park Place. One time, Eli broke down into tears and we had to call the game off.”

Roman whistled lowly as he looked up at Virgil, smile immediately turning confused as he propped himself onto his elbows, “Aren’t you getting ready for bed?”

Virgil looked down at his sneakers and jacket and shrugged, explaining, “Nah. I'm going stargazing.”

Roman jumped to his feet, the yawn he had started cut off instantly as he rushed to pull his pair of discarded jeans over his basketball shorts, “Oh I am so coming with you!”

Virgil just shrugged as he looked over at Logan, mouth opening but being promptly cut off as Logan held up a finger, “No thank you. I'm nearly done with this book, and if I stop now, I won't be able to focus on anything else but finishing this. Thank you for the offer, though.”

“Okay,” Virgil slowly turned away from the spectacled man, attention directing to Patton instead, “What about you, Pat?”

“No thanks, kiddo. I think I'm just gonna spend the night in,” Patton hummed contently as he sunk further into the nest of pillows he had surrounded himself with, “Have fun, though! Stay safe.”

“Well of course he’ll be safe! He's with me,” Roman appeared at Virgil’s side, draping his arms around his shoulders and causing Virgil to feel a heat on his cheeks.

“See ya guys,” Roman called over his shoulder as he led Virgil out of the basement. They made a quick stop by the linen closet next to the laundry room, letting Virgil pull out the familiar red blanket. He couldn't be home and not take the blanket with him.

As they climbed into the gray sedan, Virgil took a few wonderful seconds to just enjoy the sound of the crickets around him. It was like he was a kid again.

“Okay, so,” Virgil said over the quiet folk music playing in the car, “I’m just going to go ahead and let you know that we may be breaking and entering to see the stars.”

“Virgil, I didn't know you made jokes,” Roman teased as he rested his head against the glass of the passenger door. Virgil couldn't help the smile that fought its way onto his face.

“Shut up, Princey,” Virgil muttered as he turned onto the main road, the way to his old house mapped out in his head already, “And I’m not joking. We’ll have to go onto the property of our old house, and since I don't live there, technically, it's breaking and entering.”

“So basically,” Roman said as he nodded his head lightly, “If we see someone approaching us, run like hell.”

“Exactly,” Virgil said as he focused on the road ahead of him. Blind drives always made him nervous.

****

Not even ten minutes later, Virgil pulled along the edge of the road next to a dirt driveway, putting the car into park and climbing out into the darkness.

“Really, Virge? Why the hell are we parking along the fucking road,” Roman stage whispered as he climbed out of the car, blanket tucked under his arm. Virgil couldn't quite see him through the darkness, but he could hear the irritation in Roman’s voice.

“Well, we can't exactly go knocking on their front door, now can we,” Virgil snarked as he set off along the side of the road, his vision adjusting quickly as he followed the trail he had forged for years. He knew it by heart, his steps quiet so he wouldn't draw the attention of the owners as he crept along the edge of their property.

All efforts were lost as Virgil heard Roman bumbling behind him, his steps loud and careless as he stepped on three different sticks in succession.

“Oh my god, you are so loud,” Virgil muttered as he turned around, nearly being stormed over by Roman. Roman stopped short, chest nearly pressed to Virgil’s as he huffed.

“Well you're too damn quick,” Roman argued under his breath, his bottom lip pronounced in his signature pout, “And how the hell do you walk so quietly? Are you a ghost of something?”

“Yeah. Boo,” Virgil deadpanned as he grabbed Roman’s hand, setting off again in muted steps, “Just try to be quiet and follow me.”

After a minute of trying to traipse quietly through the underbrush, Roman sighed in irritation as he linked his fingers through Virgil’s. Virgil squeezed them in reassurance, and Roman settled into silence behind Virgil as he carefully followed in Virgil’s footsteps.

Virgil could see the thinning of the trees, and just ahead, the bright orange bulbs of the poppy field. If Roman’s fingers weren’t desperately linked through Virgil’s, he might have taken off into the field in a full sprint. He was nearly as excited for the field as he was for home.

“Wow,” Roman breathed as he saw the clearing of poppies, and Virgil looked over his shoulder with a bright smile.

“You haven't even seen the best of it,” Virgil whispered in excitement, nearly in pain as to how slow they were moving.

As they approached the outskirts of the field, Virgil looked up. He was greeting with the beautiful view that he held so dearly as hundreds of glittering lights winked down at them. The moonlight bathed the poppies in a shade of blue and fireflies were floating about, occasionally lighting up to create their own Milky Way on earth.

“Okay,” Virgil said lightly as he stopped them short, letting Roman’s hand go as he whirled around to face him, “Close your eyes.”

Roman looked skeptical as he looked over the field, the night sky still hidden from view by the canopy of the tall pines around them, “But I'll fall.”

Virgil held his hands out in front of him, palms up as he offered them to Roman, a soft smile pulling at his lips as he said, “I won't let you fall. I promise.”

Roman swung the blanket over his shoulder before slipping his warm hands into Virgil’s waiting ones, eyes closed as Virgil walked backwards into the field. He carefully lead Roman through the field until they were standing directly in the center, under the dazzling night sky and surrounded by lightning bugs.

“Okay,” Virgil breathed, eyes glued to Roman’s face, “Open.”

Roman slowly opened his eyes, immediately finding Virgil’s own and smiling softly before looking down at the flowers caressing his knees. He gasped slightly as he bent down to run a finger over the soft petals before looking around, eyes alight as he watched the glowing bugs dance around them.

Finally, he looked up, his jaw dropping as he took in the stars above them. Virgil had never seen him look so amazed before, eyes almost comically wide as he craned his neck as far up as his body allowed. Virgil beamed as he watched his best friend slowly turn in a circle, taking it all in before turned back to Virgil.

“Virgil,” Roman’s voice was nearly as soft as the wind, “Am I dreaming?”

“No,” Virgil smiled up at the man. Adoration was filling him to the brim as he watched Roman stare up at the beauty Virgil had been raised around, watching as Roman’s breath was taken away from him.

After a few moments of silence, Roman gave Virgil a tender smile, eyes full of warmth as he said quietly, “Thank you Virgil.”

Something in Virgil’s chest swelled, and Virgil could feel the familiar blush Roman always seemed to pull out of him racing up his neck.

“Anything for you, Roman.”

****

The boys found a clear spot amongst the poppies, knowing full well that if they dared to crush the blooms, they would regret it immediately. Instead, they opted for a small patch of grass, laying out the faded red blanket and laying on the warmed ground. The blanket was almost too small for them, but it wasn't like physical contact was going to kill them.

After a few minutes of quiet, Roman reached an arm into the air, clenching his fist as he murmured, “This looks unreal. Like I could reach up there and grab them if I wanted.”

Virgil laughed under his breath as he spotted Antares, following the constellation of Scorpio to the Big Dipper like his dad had taught him.

“I thought that same thing when I first came here,” Virgil shared as he watching Roman bring his hand back to lay it on his chest, “I thought if I was my dad’s height, I could grab and handful and take them home with me. Put them in a jar like fireflies.”

Roman looked over to meet Virgil’s eyes, but Virgil was looking back up at the sky, finding the blue twinkling light he had looked for all year. He tried desperately to keep his voice from wobbling, but being back in this field, surrounded by the warm air and the crickets and the stars, it was so hard to fight back the emotions this place brought back.

Roman rolled onto his side, propping onto his elbow as he looked down at Virgil and whispered reservedly, “What happened? You never talk about your dad, really.” A beat of silence followed Roman’s questioned, and Roman hastily tried to mend his question. “You don't have to answer. That was kinda...insensitive.”

Virgil sighed, eyes roaming the night sky as an excuse not to look at the soberly intent face to his left. If he met Roman’s eyes, he would probably lose it.

“Well,” Virgil said around the lump in his throat, voice already hoarse, “A few years ago, my dad collapsed in the middle of one of his lectures. As it turns out, he had pancreatic cancer.” Virgil willed the burning under his eyes to calm. It had been years. He needed to talk to somebody about this. “It was really late stage. They couldn't do much but make him comfortable while he…”

Virgil took a few deep breaths, trying to clear his mind from the mental images assaulting his brain.

“His last wish was to see the stars just one last time. That's all he wanted. But he was bedridden and he couldn't even get up anymore.”

Roman was silent next to Virgil, eyebrows pulled together as he listened to Virgil. It was new to see Roman looking so stoic.

“Mom cried for weeks after his funeral. They married right after the graduated high school. He was the love of her life, and watching her trying to pick up the pieces after he was gone hurt more than anything in the world.”

Virgil was very much losing the fight to keep his tears behind his eyes and a few streaked down his temples. Roman lifted a hand to the side of Virgil’s head, gently wiping it away before returning his hand to his side. The fleeting touch made Virgil’s skin tingle.

“The worst part was trying to take care of Eli and Casey. I was sixteen, and for a while there, I was the only parent those kids knew. Mom would lock herself in her room, and I took care of them. Helped them with homework, made dinner, took them to and from school. It sucked. But it was the most I could do for them.”

Virgil knew he couldn't talk much more with how bad his voice was breaking, and his hands had clenched the front of his shirt without him knowing. Roman saw Virgil barely holding it together, grabbing the boy's arm and gently rolling him to the side and into Roman’s chest. Virgil clung to the gray fabric of Roman’s sweatshirt, trying to calm his breathing as he choked out a sob into the boy's shoulder. Roman didn't say anything, just continued to run his hand up and down Virgil's back soothingly, his head resting on the top of Virgil’s.

The men lapsed into silence as Virgil finally calmed down, tucked against Roman while Roman played lightly with Virgil’s dark brown hair. After a few more moments of peacefulness, the melody of crickets the only sound in the air, Virgil slowly pushed away from Roman, not meeting his eyes as he felt his ears burn. Roman let him push away, his hands falling away to the space Virgil had created.

“Ya know,” Virgil said as he fell onto his back, eyes returning the sky, “The view really is something.”

“Yeah,” Roman said quietly, rolling onto his back once more, “It is.”

Roman's arm fell to the side, a heavy weight over Virgil’s own. He could feel Roman’s fingers against his palm. Tentatively, Virgil slipped his fingers through Roman, gauging the man’s reaction out of the corner of his eye.

Virgil could feel pressure as Roman gripped Virgil’s hand, a pleased smile stretching his lips as he stared up. Virgil relaxed his shoulders, not even realizing he had tensed them in case Roman moved his hand away, the rejection subtle but obvious enough.

Instead, Roman settled heavily against Virgil’s side as his thumb slowly rubbed circles into the pale skin of Virgil’s hand, pointing out the few lights he recognized from hours of listening to Virgil.

Something bloomed deep in Virgil’s chest as he watched the boy next to proudly point out the gleaming specks above them, recalling the constellations and watered down stories of what they were. He looked beautiful, surrounded by poppies and bathed in moonlight as he smiled at Virgil, his whole presence expelling euphoria like this was the best thing he had ever done. His fingers twitched excitedly against Virgil’s palm, like he was mentally restraining himself from gesturing dramatically to the sky, and Virgil mentally applauded the effort.

It was the first night Virgil noticed the light fluttering in his chest, soft as starlight, and Virgil had the sneaking suspicion that a large part of it was due to the gentle man beside him.


	3. go on and tear me apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> love these bois
> 
> Based off this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR73DrKX_bs
> 
> also: major thanks to my lovely beta Vic (triggermoreliketiger) <3 <3

Summers were the happiest times for Virgil; that just goes without saying. Admittedly, he dreaded the horrible humidity and the overbearing heat, finding zero ways on how to cool himself down and always feeling like he was moving through a swimming pool whenever he stepped outside. The nights, however, were a completely different story.

Much like tonight, actually.

It was dreadfully overcast outside, but it didn't stop Virgil from seeing the stars as he laid on the floor of his bedroom, soft piano music playing through his headphones as he looked up at his darkened ceiling. The glow in the dark paint splattered on the ceiling gave him some comfort as he breathed in evenly, feeling completely peaceful.

Roman was on his side next to him, quietly scrolling through his Instagram, his phone the only light in the pitch black room. He almost looked eerie with the white light illuminating his facial features.

The boys hadn’t said anything in awhile, simply content to lay next to each other in the plush carpet. That didn't stop Virgil, however, from looking at the taller boy next to him.

Roman had looked up from his phone, eyes meeting Virgil’s, catching him mid-stare. He smiled slightly, and Virgil slowly removed his headphones, placing them on his chest.

“What is it this time,” Roman asked, the teasing voice Virgil adored making him blush.

“Nothing,” Virgil hastily replied, just like he did the last couple dozen times Roman had caught him staring. Roman just shook his head in amusement as he turned back to his phone, smile never slipping.

“Weirdo.”

The fact of the matter was that Virgil really was acting like a weirdo. Much to his horror, Virgil noticed so many things he did around the boy that made no sense. One of them being that, despite Virgil’s best attempts, he couldn't keep his eyes off the man. Something just drew his attention to Roman like a moth to a flame.

And that was only the beginning of a very long list. It didn't include how he would feel feverish if Roman gave him the slightest of compliments, the racing of his heart whenever Roman displaying any sort of physical affection, the constant need to be within arm’s reach of the man whenever they were alone.

It was a very new series of events that made Virgil absolutely petrified. But he still found himself repeating them anyway.

This was a dangerous game he was playing with himself. He could redraw, grow distant from the boy, let their friendship de-escalated before making any rash decisions.

But for whatever reason, just the thought of distancing himself from his friend made his heart twist sharply.

His heart and his brain were playing emotional chicken with each other, and Virgil could do nothing but watch from the sidelines as the ultimate collateral damage.

****

Virgil realized weeks later what the deal was with this inner chaos in his brain as he stayed up late one night, watching reruns of Avatar the Last Airbender with Patton. He could see Patton glancing over at him every now and then, probably due to the fact that Virgil let out an annoyed huff nearly every thirty minutes as he shifted around on the couch, not finding a comfortable position. After the third or fourth time of shifting, huffing, and shifting some more, Patton grabbed the remote from the coffee table. He muted the TV, setting the remote on the arm of the couch as he turned to Virgil, concern lacing his words as he asked, “You okay, kiddo?”

Virgil looked at the paternal man, having to mentally remind himself that Patton was only older than Virgil by a few months, grumbling, “Not really.”

Patton waited for a second, attention trained on Virgil as he patiently sat in the dim light of the living room. Virgil let out a sigh, pulling his feet on the couch as he absentmindedly chewed a black painted nail.

“I just…,” Virgil started, picking his words carefully, “I don't know...what I'm feeling right now.”

“Well you are talking to the best emotional support around,” Patton smiled softly, “I’m all ears.” At his own dumb joke, Patton wiggled his ears, nearly causing Virgil to nervously laugh around his fist.

The sudden memory of earlier that day popped into Virgil’s mind. Roman had just come in from doing lawn work, red and beaming, with a water bottle in his hands. He greeted Virgil on the way in, lifting his loose tank top to wipe at his forehead, revealing a patch of his lower stomach that Virgil hadn't had the fortitude to look away from. Virgil had always known that Roman was a bit fitter than he appeared, but Virgil hadn't known just how well built he was. The image of Roman’s flexed arms and defined hip bones was seared into Virgil’s mind, and Virgil desperately tried to shake the thought away as he brought his focus back to the spectacled man before him.

“I don't know how to describe it,” Virgil started weakly, eyes falling to the carpet as the notorious burning settled on his cheeks, “I just feel terrified. There's this...person, and all I want to do is be around them. All the time. And it scares me.”

Something glimmered behind Patton’s eyes, something knowing that Virgil couldn't place, but the man stayed silent, letting Virgil continue.

“And they're so nice, Patton,” Virgil pulled at his hair lightly, the bubble of anxiety growing with every breath in, “They've done so many wonderful things for me, and they make me laugh at their dumb jokes, and all I want is to talk to them and see their smile and make them as happy as they make me. And that’s terrifying.”

Patton placed a light hand on Virgil’s arms, gently coaxing it out of his hair and pulling Virgil’s eyes towards him.

“Well, kiddo,” Patton was quiet, which was almost unnerving considering how loud he was almost all the time, “It sounds like you like them.”

The simplicity of the statement left Virgil highly confused.

“Well of course I like them,” Virgil agreed, eyebrows pulling together, “They're my best friend. It would be even weirder if I hated them.”

Patton chuckled under his breath, pushing his glasses up his nose and meeting Virgil’s eyes, a strange look of force behind them, “No. Virgil. I think you _like_ them.”

The gears in Virgil’s brain ground together pointlessly as he tried to understand why Patton had inflicted the words like he did. It just didn't make any sense. Of course he liked Roman. He liked him plenty. That's why they were roommates.

After a few seconds of silence, Patton shook his head lightly, standing from the couch and letting the blanket fall from his lap. “Well. Apparently you need time for that to sink in…” Patton paused before lightly ruffling Virgil’s hair, a soft look in his eyes as he took in the angsty boy on the couch. “I’m going to bed, kiddo. Goodnight. Sleep well and sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight, Pat,” Virgil said in a daze as he mulled over their conversation, “See you in the morning.”

Patton’s soft footsteps slowly disappeared as he headed into his bedroom, leaving Virgil in the living area with his thoughts.

It wasn't until nearly a half hour after the light in Patton’s room turned off that Virgil deciphered the words, nearly blushing at his own thick-headedness. Patton hadn’t given Virgil the verbal Da Vinci code, a puzzle to figure out over the course of a lifetime. In fact, Patton made so much more sense that Virgil realized.

Because Patton had implied that Virgil had a big, fat crush on Roman, and that information cleared up so much confusion inside his head, but gave him an even bigger problem to deal with. With this huge puzzle piece in mind, Virgil understood the mixed bag of emotions he swung through on a day to day basis.

The new revelation was simultaneously a weight of Virgil’s shoulders and the end of the world.

Virgil liked Roman. And there was no running from that.

****

It was Virgil’s night to make dinner, and he really didn't mind. Cooking was a mindless task for him, ingrained into him after nearly a year of making food for his younger siblings when he father passed away. It was one of the rare moments where he could space out while doing something productive, and that brought comfort to him. Usually.

This time, though, Virgil kept getting hopelessly distracted by the half-naked figure leaning against the counter.

Roman had gotten out of the shower nearly an hour ago, dressed only in a pair of basketball shorts with a towel draped around his shoulders, patchily stained with the blonde dye he had streaked through his hair. Virgil didn't understand why the man had decided to add blonde to his already golden hair. (Something about texturing or whatever.) What Virgil didn't understand more was why he was still shirtless and still incessantly hanging around in the kitchen.

“Let me help, come on,” the man whined, crossing his arms and nearly making Virgil drop the spoon into the pot before him, “I’m not that bad of a cook.”

“Roman, you can't even make Bagel Bites without burning them,” Virgil countered. The heat in his cheeks was almost commonplace nowadays, “Get out of the kitchen and please go put on a shirt.”

Roman’s eyes narrowed as he cocked his head to the side, “Hey, that was only once! And quit telling me to put on a shirt. It's my body and I decide what I will and will not wear.”

Virgil hadn't realized how many times he had said Roman needed to put on a shirt during their conversation, but now that it was brought to his attention, he had ended nearly every sentence that way. And for good reason.

“I want you to remember saying that when some oils pops out of the pan and onto to you,” Virgil’s warning was completely groundless, but still. “Please get out. Please.”

A wicked smile grew on Roman’s face, and Virgil could barely guess what Roman’s intentions were as he leaned closer to Virgil and nearly sent him into cardiac arrest. “But see, I have a theory,” Roman whispered conspiratorially, soft lips pulled into a grin, “That you actually really like when I don't wear a shirt.”

If the bright red band across Virgil’s cheeks and nose didn't give him away, he was most sure his surprised spluttering did, “Th-That’s not even remotely true!”

But it so was. Ever since Roman had strolled into the kitchen, basketball shorts riding low on his hips and nearly whistling, Virgil couldn’t take his eyes off the boy. Something about watching the water droplets rolling down the defined muscles in Roman’s back was entirely too tempting. It had to be criminal to look that good.

Roman’s laughter was bright as he leaned back, eyes squinted with mirth and making Virgil’s stomach flip violently. Roman uncrossed his arms as he leaned back to study the blushing man in front of him, eyes trailing down Virgil’s lanky form before meeting his eyes and giving Virgil an infuriating smirk.

“It's alright, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance. You're not too shabby yourself,” Roman’s smirk was downright devilish as he winked, pushing himself off the counter and passing Virgil on his way out of the kitchen. A whiff of Roman’s body wash trailed him, and god did Roman smell good.

If Roman had stayed even just a little longer, he would have seen the way Virgil placed a hand over his mouth, blush coloring his face and neck as he replayed the encounter over and over again in his head. A lot of pieces didn't add up to Virgil, like why Roman had even been there in the first place, or why he had acted so...forward, or what he meant by ‘not too shabby yourself’.

Just another puzzle piece to add to Virgil’s extensive collection.

****

It wasn't uncommon for Virgil to give the other boys rides every now and then. Being one of the only two with a car, it was sort of expected for Virgil to help out, transportation wise. But every since Patton’s Soccer Mom Van got a leak, Virgil has been the sole driver in the house, and it was almost becoming unbearable. Not only did Patton work at the bakery on the corner nearly every night, Logan often attending lectures around the campus, and Roman’s weekend plans included bar hopping with his drama club geeks.

This just happened to be one of the weekends where Virgil couldn't even try to get away from the object of his distraction. Not only did Roman hang around him far too often for his own comfort, the boy had a completely packed schedule between his improv classes and hanging out with his friends and going out for the night.

“Thank you again, Virge,” Roman cheered as he clambered into Virgil’s truck, looking like a million bucks in a tight fitting black shirt. Virgil snapped his mouth shut when he realized his jaw had dropped upon seeing the boy exit their apartment. Virgil rigidly put the car in reverse, maneuvering his way from the parking space and through the parking lot of the complex.

“It's nothing,” Virgil murmured as he drove along the darkened road, “Anything for you.” He hadn't meant for that last sentence to slip out, and he nearly bit off his tongue in embarrassment as he looked nowhere but the road.

Roman beamed out of the corner of his eye as he rested his head against the glass of the door, his gaze far away.

After a few moments of nothing but the soft alternative radio playing in the background, Roman’s hesitant voice drew Virgil’s attention immediately. “Virge, what's the best way to tell someone you're interested in them?”

The question put Virgil on edge since it was coming from the one and only guy Virgil found himself crushing on. He started to pick at the worn leather of the wheel, eyes glued to the road as he fought his voice into neutrality.

“I guess it depends,” The careful answer didn't feel right coming out of his mouth, each word leaving a bitter after taste, “Sometimes the person needs it in very clear details. People can be dense.”

A flame of hope flickered in Virgil’s chest as he wondered, prayed, that for even a second, Roman may just be talking about him. But Virgil kept the warmth minimal. There was no point getting his hopes up if it was going to lead to heartbreak.

Roman looked over to Virgil the same time Virgil did, and the moment their eyes connected, something shifted between them. Something monumental but minuscule, barely there but the biggest thing there could be. Obvious and subtle and, ultimately, confusing.

Warmth bled into Roman’s open expression, the smile on his lips so tender it made Virgil’s heart melt. It was such a shame Roman had picked now, when Virgil was driving, to dive into such an emotional topic. Virgil wanted to give his full attention the beautiful man beside him, and it was so hard to at this exact second.

“Dense, huh,” Roman repeated quietly as he faced forward in his seat, the smile never leaving his face.

The boys lapsed into silence, letting the low baseline of the song playing swallow up their conversation. As Virgil pulled up to the curb of the club Roman was supposed to meet his friends in, Roman quickly turned to Virgil, and in a flurry of motion, grabbed the loose band tee around his neck.

Roman leaned towards the boy, and Virgil could feel his cheeks warming with every inch he grew nearer, his brain short circuiting when he felt Roman’s warm breath on his cheek. Roman swept in, placing a lingering kiss to Virgil’s cheek before pulling back just slightly so that his feather soft lips brushed Virgil’s burning cheeks.

“How is that for clear details,” The low pitch of Roman’s voice sent shivers up Virgil's spine, and Virgil wished that his entire body wasn't completely frozen to the spot as Roman leaned away, beaming as he opened the passenger side door and jumping from the car, barely saying bye as he rushed through the dark doors of the club.

Virgil could only watch as Roman bounded from the car, his entire body hot from the contact. One on hand, Virgil had wished deeply that he hadn't locked up, wanting to relax into the kiss and enjoy the feeling of Roman’s hand in his shirt, but he knew that if he hadn't, there was a high chance Virgil would have made a complete fool of himself.

Virgil brought a hand to his cheek, fingers ghosting over the spot Roman’s lips had touched not even a second ago, and sending the poor man into another blushing fit, barely containing himself from squealing loudly in his car. It didn't stop him from curling against his steering wheel, head resting on the device as he grinned at himself.

Roman had given him the final puzzle piece to this entire mess of feelings, and the picture was pretty clear. Virgil’s attraction wasn't solely from his side.

Virgil was in so damn deep for this boy, and for once, that thought wasn't terrifying at all.


End file.
